Wlecome to Jackass
by CaskettAddict1993
Summary: House snaps after the events of Bombshells. usual disclaimer, i dont own House or Jackass.


Welcome to Jackass

I don't own House or Jackass or anything else I could just imagine House doing

Something of this sort please review even if it is random: D

…..

Maybe getting high was a good idea House mused as he skipped through the hospital at night.

Cuddy was at home wallowing in her own Jewish guilt for dumping him whilst Wilson was too busy getting drunk and then moaning at House when he couldn't handle his alcohol.

So the whole place was his, he grinned evilly.

Shame that there was only a few people in the hospital who were high and had a camcorder with them.

He ran down to the nearest ward, which was easy to do due to his numbness and grabbed a few wheelchairs as well as 2 beds.

Both he and the nearest smack head to him got into an electronic chair and decided to race around the hospital, all the while being filmed…

They raced and raced till the smack head drove over the balcony and plummeted to the floor. Dead.

All House could do in his drunken state was carry on filming and giggle in his stoned state.

The rest of them rode around the hospital on skateboards crashing into walls and MRI machines.

Nothing left to care about, House carried on.

He then ordered hundreds of menthol sweets and 100 bottles of 2 litre coke for his latest expedition.

However, his first was to knick the new supply of medical balls and herded everyone into a dark room. Everyone seemed ecstatic to be involved in this new production and willingly followed.

"Dodgeball in the dark!" was shouted out loud. And so the chaos began. Every screen shot on the video was of a stoned man hit by one of these heavy balls falling over each other and crashing to the floor whilst laughing.

Leading to three people with a few injuries but too stoned to care.

As soon as this set was finished, the orders had arrived and so the next screen shot began with house putting 4 menthol sweets inside the bottle of pop and shook it before throwing it on the floor.

And so it carried on, the more time that passed by, the more extreme the ideas became but House didn't care and was willing to leave the earth in this state.

Skate boarding on car parks, wearing rocket skates and hijacking a fire brigade truck to use a hose pipe for a rodeo.

However it wasn't these that House fell from the earth to, it was riding down an icy road just outside the hospital on an old Victorian bike. His body wasn't found till the following week as nobody could remember what had happened that night.

The only evidence that they were faced with was the mess that Cuddy and the rest of the hospital faced when they went to work the next day. The camcorder was found on his possession but it appeared that it had already been put together and put on the internet as well as being a hit on ITunes. There was however a letter addressed to Cuddy.

_Dear bane of my existence,_

_For someone who is a doctor, I must admit, I failed to see what happened coming, just like with Kutner I suppose. These last few days have opened my eyes to you it seemed. I was a trial for you, a trial which I apparently failed so I do apologise for being an addict. It's not as if I choose to be it voluntarily. But I finally know why. You never loved me, you just wanted to try it out because of your guilt, well this is it, you win, I failed and I wish Rachel every success in terms of dealing with your expectations because she will need it. You insinuated that I never cared, but if you didn't understand how much I needed you then I don't need to explain myself. Everything I own, I have left to Rachel. The flat has been disposed of but the piano has been put in a storage unit with my other things for her to look at if she's bored. The money I had and the money produced from this my last and only exploit will also be put into that account. Anyway I have to go, got to ride down an icy road and meet my fate that way. Goodbye Cuddy._

_House_

She read and re read what he had put and her eyes welled up with tears for her assumptions and the past two years of her life in terms of House. She eventually let them fall and left the hospital in the hands of police.

As soon as Cuddy arrived home, she downloaded House's stunt and sat down to watch it.

Observing just how much her actions had hurt him pained her just as much. It pained her even more when she heard and felt Rachel running towards her.

"Its House mommy!" she squealed and Cuddy's eyes once again watered as she understood just how much pain she had caused by playing it safe.

She turned back to the screen and carried on watching, seeing him turn to the camera and say what appeared to be directly to Rachel.

"Promise not to do what I've done on this video, your mom may have a coronary Rachel" he finished smiling.

The last shot on the video Cuddy saw before her vision blurred through tears was House saying, Hi, I'm Greg House welcome to Jackass.


End file.
